It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
