Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
How many fucks given?
0.12846
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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