Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
