That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
