you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
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NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
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I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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