so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
