Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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