i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
