Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Randomize
