we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
