Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize