So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
