you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
