im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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