isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
