Will you blow on my dice?
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
