shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
