I didn't shave. On purpose
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
