wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I think my fart just growled at me.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
