Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
