she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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