About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
