Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I don't want my vagina anymore.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
