can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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