ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Randomize
