Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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