Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
MIDGETS
????
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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