I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
