he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
