I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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