Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
