Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize