brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
