My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
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we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
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When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
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