mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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