Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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