Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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