who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
