If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Your cock deserves a montage
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
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