it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
