We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
