She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
