I'm lost and stupid without you.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
