I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
