You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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