Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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