Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
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I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
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I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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