booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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