Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
