This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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