Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
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They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
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Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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