i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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