smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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