let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
