Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
