I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
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