But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i can't believe i had my finger in that
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
