My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
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