you win again, gameday.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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