Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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