goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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