chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
We smell like vodka and hangover
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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