I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize