whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
