One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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