I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Drunk is not a location!
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