If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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